YOU ((me))

You.
You are the reason Christians have a bad name.
You are the person who fails to practice what you preach.
You say things out of selfish vain.
You do what is best for yourself.
You love for your own glory.
You mask it all with an Americanized Christian mentality.
You hide it well and have gained fame.
Lost and confused, sheep are led to the slaughter because of your deceit.
You are more than just a simple wolf.
You are the Judas who kisses the cheek.
You are the snake who offers the world.
All the while, in your own mind, you are a saint.
So lost, so confused, so ignorant...
You don't even recognize it.
Foolish is written across your forehead and yet, in the mirror there are no blemishes.
Your hypocrisy is behind the black curtain as you struggle in the light.
Sooner or later, your deeds catches up to the night.
Manipulative with lies, but sweet with venous sugar on your lips.
You see it differently and justify it.
You see it your own way and people follow it.
You are transparent with your past, but never learn from them.
People relate to you, but you do not reflect the Sun.
Asking for forgiveness have become your daily diary.
Repentance has become just an option in your life.
You say so many words, but lack so many fruits.
Why are your roots coming up with weeds?
Why are your branches not abiding?
You are blind to your own life.
You believe in your own lies.
You judge the good and rejoice with the wicked.
You condemn your brothers and sisters, but party with the heathens.
You're quick to rebuke, but slow to listen.
You think you're following Jesus, but you're only following yourself.
You are the reason Christians have a bad name.
You.

Box of Shame

I'm trapped inside this temptation.
This box of sin in which I can't escape.
I try to unleash some type of revelation.
Some type of power I thought I could emulate.

But as much as I try and try, I seem to come up short.
And I write down all the mistakes to create some type of report.
A journal to keep, to avoid tripping over the same things.
But it's like my phone is set to silent and yet all it does is rings.

I seem to be at a point of hiding my shame under a rug.
But it is accumulating to the point where I can't even fake a shrug.
And I pretend its not mine.
But its built up over time.
Yet I swear its all lies.
Denying my own crimes.

And I can't fight my own battles anymore.
My body is torn up, laying lifeless on the floor.
I couldn't outrun from this place I'm living.
And these four walls starts to cave in.
So I stretch out my arms for one last attempt to fight my own battles.
As I do, I could feel the whole box begin to rattle.

And I figured this is my end, this is my doom.
And all I have is seconds to wonder why so soon.
As I feel like I'm being buried in my own disgrace.
I feel the box began to implode like some type of earthquake.
And my heart began to quiver in fear.
Who is this voice that I hear

I am here.
I never left.
Do not fear.
I was never upset.
I waited for you to call.
To help win this fight.
But I saw you begin to fall.
So I came to defeat the night.
Did you forget that you were mine?
You seemed to have lost your way on that fine line...

And I knew which fine line He spoke of.
And I recalled His voice.
I seemed to have forgotten the face of love.
It was a regrettable choice.

And as I felt His voice all over me.
I began to feel unexplainable peace.
This love I once knew is the power I thought I controlled.
Foolishly thinking its a power I thought I had on my own.

I got lost in the fine line of my own pride.
When I was in too deep, I began to hide.
But even in the deepest of seas...
You will always find me.
Oh great God.
How You restore my soul.
Oh great God.
There's nothing I want more...
Then to never forget my place.
Right here, in Your arms of grace.

Simplicity of "I Love You"

I look at you every morning
I wait for you to say those words
And even when I’m all alone and hurting
You won’t ask to see what hurts

And because the love in your eyes are gone
I start to wonder if it was ever there
And insomnia overcomes me till the break of dawn
Because I can’t fall asleep knowing you lost that glare

I see your body, you say you care, but your heart is so cold
Where is the look you gave me when you said we would grow old
Was I just an infatuation to make you forget someone else
The way we live our lives feels like unread books on a shelf

And I patiently waited for you to say those words
I’ve patiently withheld all the things that makes me hurt
I’ve prayed, I’ve cried, I’ve lied to make them feel okay
Truth of the matter is, the kids are the reason that I stayed

And all I wanted was for you to say those words
But when you did, all you created was more hurt
You said it when you were lying straight to my face
You said it as if it was going to be your redeeming grace

All you did was push me away
Now I don’t believe anything you say
I’ve learned to live like two former lovers
I’ll respect you, but I promise, don’t you ever
Tell me something you’ll regret
I’ve held it this long, but I’ll never forget
And in the end, it’s your lost, not mine
I was willing to give all of me in eternity’s time

But I’ll hold on to what you never could
My God, my refuge, the reason I am understood
You never realized what makes me strong
I pour my heart out in the simplicity of a song
And my voice is finally heard
My pain is finally gone
He took me as I am
And to Him I was drawn

Never will I look back at the past
You're still here so win me over
Time wasn’t built to last
So make me once again your lover

And say those words
But only after you show me

That you mean what you say
And you say what you mean

And I’ll be forever yours
The way it should be.