Blessing In Despair

Please tell me I am wrong. Confirm to me that there is more to life than this. Give me a glimpse of hope. To settle all my disbelief in utter confidence. My fear of fading love. The notion of spiraling feelings disappearing. The spineless emotion when it's all over. The fate of love in the hands of a dice roller... Gamble. Gambling everything I had. A bluff face, a full house, no one could lose this bad. To lose it all... And yet to get back up from the fall. For there is hope. I just had to cope. My plans shortened my future. A blessed life in which I almost butchered. For there is a God who loves me more than life. He is the sole reason I am alive. So here it is, the tune I've been singing all along. Oh, wild world, I guess I was wrong.

Pencil>Pen

When it comes to poetry.
When it comes to love.
When it comes to heartbreaks.
The ones you run from.

It all paints a picture.
It all tells a story.
The most intimate art.
Shines in all its glory.

Bare tells all tales.
Honesty keeps the spark.
Fable colors outside the lines.
My poetry sets the mark.

Whether black or blue.
The pain it soothes.
With the pen I use
And the story blooms.

But tonight I write.
Of love first sight.
Written in lead.
To escape false light.

I have learned through time.
Emotions can vary.
Having something to erase.
Might be less scary.

Cause the love fades.
But the memory stays.
And hope retains.
Though reality....

_.Patience._

Youre the dream inside my head. Waiting to come true. Patience is key, but its not about me, its about you. The life I foresee is a life God has blessed. So I sit and wait for you to confess. Until, we see, eye to eye and only you are by my side. For out of a rib came women, but out my heart comes love. And you, my dear, are the one God has sent from above. So I wait. And I wait. As I focus and meditate. And I pray and hesitate. Hoping you know, its never too late...

A True Friend

And when I think of happiness
I think of you
And when I want to love
I think of you
Because you brought me closer to both
And without your friendship, I lose hope
Your gentle voice and caring heart
Your loving kindness from the start
And here's to your beauty inside and out
I'll tell it to the world without a doubt
So, I want to thank you for being you
Always staying amazing and true

Life, Liberty, and Happniess

Well if we were to get married tomorrow. 

And our kids would come soon after. 

And if we would get older and watch our kids grow as  

we experience life, love, liberty and happiness with the ups and the downs, the cool and the rage, through the wind and the rain, the sun and storm, to the mountaintops all the way to the desert regions, from the great lakes to the salty sea, from here to there to practically anywhere

and then that one day I woke up by your side 

and you turned your head and looked into my eyes. 

That's my view of the perfect life.

((Trust))

Bleed

Full of need

Please, oh please

Tell me what you mean

Somethings cannot be seen

So, would you just say it darling

And let my ears hear the words I fear dearly

To move on, whether right or left, I need sincerity

Honesty, honesty, honesty, everyone knows it is the best policy

So do me that favor and give what I plead, even if my heart starts to bleed

Partners for life

I

Sigh

Maybe

One day

I want this 

I don't need this

If I could lay here

Would you lie here with me

And we could just forget the world

The Journey

When I found myself

It took a while to find self-worth

Christ in me; incomplete

When I accepted reality

To realize Your sovereignty

Christ in me; incomplete

Whatever Your doing

I will follow Your movement

Christ in me; incomplete

I will stand still and wait

Hope, patience and faith

Christ in me; incomplete

I will be like the river

Flowing in Your glorious shimmer

Christ in me; incomplete

And I will never know 

How much I have to grow 

Christ in me; incomplete

Until You call me home

And I bow before Your heavenly throne

Christ in me; it is then, I am complete

Love (Joy)

See if you can

The life before your eyes

Every love one you have

Will someday die

So keep them close

Cherish every moment

Limit your pride

And make sure you have told them

How much you love 

And don't just say it

Make sure you live 

Move, think and breath it

For the beauty of words

Fills half the bowl

When followed by action

Comforts the soul

Love, love, love

Heals all broken things

Believe or not

 God is the healer of everything

For He is love

And love is He

If we abide in him

Joyous we will be

Word

Broken...

Love.

Jesus.

Saves.

Love.

Others.

Take that Punch to the Face like a Champ

 I wonder if I'm all alone
I wonder if she can hear my voice
Ever lose a best friend
Not to death
But lose her to her own desire
To be away from you
What do you do when
All you've known
Rejects your love
Rejects your friendship
What happens when you try to care
And she takes your trust
And throws into the fire
No, not the fire that grows
And prospers and blooms
But the fire that burns
That burning feeling I feel every night
Before I go to bed
An uncontrollable pain
Nothing can take away
You pray, you cry
You try to sleep at night
And yet
You still think of her
When all you want to do is forget
Forget the past
Because everything in the present
Reminds you of her
Reminds you of her sweet nature
Her graceful beauty
Everything good under the sun
But when the memory stays
Is when you realize
You're being burned
Why, why would she lie
Why, why can't she be my friend
Why was she my best friend
What was the purpose of her in my life
I wish I could turn back time
And relive love
Relive my life with her
Back when she loved me
Time changes and so did she
So they say
Its better to have loved
Than to have never loved at all
Clearly he was never in my shoes
Life without her is hard
But I'll make it through
Just know
When it's all said and done
Know that I loved you
I always will
But maybe you're right
Maybe I'm not the one for you

How Far Will Your Faith Go

[If this picture was in audio, what would he be saying? My poetry to his legacy] 

Oh you fool, how you blame us for the fire

How you see your city burn for your sins

Take my life for I have lived to speak the truth

For, oh my soul, will join one with the wind

To the sky

Where my Savior will satisfy

To live is to die

To die is to gain

So crucify me!

Upside down won't you please

Oh how I anticipate the pain

But the joy of the after life

Keeps my mind sane

 Call me a liar

 Call me the problem

I know the truth

He sees me as a martyr

One last look

This is the end

Inner Death

My fist is clinched and I'm ready to fight

My enemies will battle until I ignite

Win this war with my heart in my hand

I will struggle till I die, no dying is planned

So I keep on moving and let myself in

Got to give myself some time before I begin

My mind is racing, my heart is depressed

My hand is stilled like water, where movement is less

Forward motion no time like today

Your breathing stops, your body decays

God it feels like an empty win

Walls form full of my sins

You can say not another word

Someone stole it, call it absurd

I know I was someone you can trust

The deception I gave can never be just

My self-righteous lies should never be saved

Like a pharisee who pretends to be honest and brave

So the story ends with no ending at all

No new beginning, no summer or fall

Im forced to face all the pain that I caused

Winter nights that rewinds or just paused

Here I am with nothing in my hand

I lost my heart, its sinking in sand

Oh these moments, I wish you were here

Regrets I’ve made, oh I wish you were here

Now its been forever and a day

The feelings the same, only pain

This war was intended for not an inch of mercy

I cried out to God for my emotions are bursting

Die young and save yourself is what i heard

I hate to believe it, but its sounding less absurd

Can you hear the screams from all around

It's the only noise that's making a sound

Like a pharisee

I thought I could be

Everything

Clearly, I am nothing

Clearly, I need something

I'm losing my mind

Is the cross at a distance a sign

Figure this out before I run out of time

Im starting to see the narrow fine line

Man needs to be saved

Jesus Christ is everything

Love Should Be Fair*

(This is another poem I really enjoyed from another friend)

Does the thought of my voice, my smile

Make your heart stop beating awhile

Do the memories, the touch of my lips 

Bring tears to your eyes, is it hard to get a grip

I hope so, it’s only fair

And for every promise you have broken

I hope someone breaks theirs to you

Not so you can suffer

But because that’s how I suffered

I hope so, it’s only fair

If you loved me like you said

My name shouldn’t be out of your head

And if what you proclaimed is true

You should cry every night as I do

I hope so, it’s only fair

You should lay awake at night

Because you’re still not alright

Your heart should be hard to repair

It's only fair

(Orignal: Melissa Danielson/ Revised-edited: Mr. H)

The Walk*

(This is a poem I really enjoyed from a friend)

Another night spent on you

 Just doesn't feel right

Cause the cost of it is heart ache

 And I * surely pay the price

They say time is money

But it’s more like priceless

Time and time again

The things we do just isn't righteous

Without you here I drink myself to sleep

Every night just to make the pain go away

*If I really want the pain to stop

All I have to do is walk away

Freedom is only ten steps away from that door

But after the first two, I look back

I can't help but to miss you more

So somebody help me

Before it’s too late

And I drown in my sorrow

Because I couldn't walk the other eight

A crutch, a lift, a shoulder to lean on,

An inspiring voice

But I knew what I was getting into

This was my choice

Thought I meant more to you

But I guess I was wrong

One thing I do know

In this bed I do not belong

Maybe one day I can finally move on

And get you out of my head

So stay strong, stay focused, *keep walking

Don't look back at her bed

I would *have gave you the world

But *you keep asking for time

 Where was I

 Three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine…

Original: BJ Horvath *(Slightly revised)

The World Will Crush You

Watch my own dreams fall apart

Then I’ll know what its not

I had you in my grasp
Is this really why I fought

Shiny tool, you light the sky

Change in pace or in time

Underachieve is what I believe

Could this be a simple sign

Failure is my only option

Don’t have what it takes

Failed once, I’ll fail again

Human mind can't be blamed

The voice is calling me

Keep trying till I’ll die

And one day I’ll succeed
Now, who believes this lie

Just Admit Mindful Incisions Externally

So I begin to question myself

Did I really ignore the obvious

You and I knew something was off

Even though you acted oblivious

From the moment summer started

To the time we had ended in fall

From the ring-tone of Kings of Leon

To the time your love began to stall

And it all goes back to that day

Where a hug was a second too long

And I felt the emotion you sent

I wish you had hugged me that strong

As I watched you move on

But try to keep what you had

Have your cake and eat it too

Do you really want me to be sad

I know you mean well

But your selfish as hell

And only I could tell

Your love had fell

Into the abyss

Where it cant be saved

Do we burn bridges now

Since our love has been stained

Never would I have thought

This would happen to us

But little did I know

Six years under the bus

Nothing to show for

But wasted time and energy

Not even a friendship

You cant even come to me

Maybe its hard on you

And that poker face is solid

Or maybe you moved on

And Kelly Clarkson foresaw it

Already gone is what I heard

But my heart continued to say that's absurd

No way this could happen to me

I guess that's how its got to be

So there you go straying left

I'll make sure to keep my right

Don't want our paths to cross

I jumped off and i took flight

And wherever I land

Is where I'll be

Second guessing myself

Oh, silly me

The Lighted Tower with a Strong Base

Shadows on a haunted day

The shadows always contrast brighter ways
The city illuminate its lights
But the motion of this city is far from right
The failure to accept the gray
Leaves black and white stains on my heart today
The choices we have to make
This pressure affects the things we give or take
I wish that you would hear

I wish that you could see

The oceans calling out
This motionless scene
 So I yell from my lungs

So you can hear it from me

Nothing this world can offer

Will ever be enough.. at least for me

Darling, Don't Say Goodbye

Your smile brightens up the room
Your eyes they shine the beauty within you
It hurts to see you feel like nothing’s change
But you don’t know what life might bring along the way

You tried to cope the fact that life’s not the same
There a side of you that wish he still remained
He doesn’t know what it’s like to lose a jewel
He’s just another fool

And yes you may be thinking

Of the last time you were singing

Songs of joy, songs of love

You felt like you were sent up above

So you close your eyes

To imagine not to be alive

I don’t want to hear you say goodbye
Cause you’re the sweetest thing 

To ever come to life

Name anything you think 

That’s better than you

You’ll come up empty 

Cause darling that’s the truth

You’re cut like sapphire blue

The ocean’s is like looking at you

No one else will ever do

Cause there's only one you

Wait and This Too Shall Pass

You’re running carelessly

Now you got something to hide

The pressure of your innocence

Is building up inside

Watch me as I marvel

At the peak of your mistakes

And nothing will stop this 

From the course it has to take

But stand still and wait

The storm will go away

Now its coming closer

And you start to realize

The blueprints of this problem 

Always starts within your mind

You’re the architect 

Of what you know

Answers you can find

Are inside your head to say

This storm will go away

Never Again Shall I Sail the Red Sea

The game ends

The light sends

My heart blends
Your eyes tends
To look into
my eyes... blue
Now I see
The red sea
Became to be
How it bleeds
Never for me
What a disgrace
On your face
Out of place
I will be
You and me
Will not agree
So it ends
Your heart bends
My soul fends

Never again..

Pathway to Pain

Thoughts of empty memory

Fading everything I sleep

My mind becomes a misery

Help me find a way to leave

My conscience is a mystery

Holds information I can’t see

Trying to remember my history

Help me find a way to believe

That problems can come and go

But my pain is bleeding really slow

Trying to forget the hurt I know

Trying so hard to let it flow
Out of my system, so breath
In and out so it may flee

But its become a part of me

And its crystal clear for all to see

So I tear my heart open

For its the path I have chosen

No looking back
Memory fades to black

Self-worship

Darkness clouds the sky

 The glory of the sun shines no more

 All of which was raisin high

 Could not see to what’s in store

 Courage is a lie

 In the land where no one seems to fear

 The place no one thought to die

 Is the holy place love one tears

So they cry for a Savior

To save them from self-destruction

He offered a way to salvation

They rejected the simple instructions

They rather please themselves

And seek refuge on their own

Rain falls from the sky

As His creation decays under tombstones

Two Part Love

(Beginning)

Staring at a blank wall

Wondering how she feels

I wish I could express

The love I have is real

My head, cluttered with her

Running through my mind

Hoping she will realize

True love is not hard to find

(Aftermath)

Patches of hurt

Stains my heart

You are my angel

Sent from the start

Who refreshes my soul

With every glance

You’re so beautiful

Give me one last chance

One (Me plus You)

One is what I have

She's beautiful in every sense

One is what I need 

She makes my body so tense

One is all I want

She completes the other me

One is all I could ask for

How lucky could I be

That you would ever choose me

 So one

Is really two

Cause I wouldnt be me

Without you

Yearly Love

A year of joy

A year of fear

A year to realize

I am always here

Through times of joy

To the times we fight

My love for you

Will always shine bright

Like a candle burning

On an inch of wit

My heart melts without you

You beauty keeps it lit

It took a year

To grow so close

I took a second,

To fall for you the most

Soulmate Kiss

Seeing you smile

Seeing the tears fall from your face

Every emotion you have

I feel in every place

My soul is one with yours

My mind and body too

The way you make my heart beat skip

Just by seeing you

Wishing you could be here

Touching my face, feeling your hips

Gazing into those grayish-blue eyes

Pulling you closer for that one special kiss

Killer Tongue

Silenced by the pain

Bleeding in an artery

Needle pierced my heart

Death is calling slowly

Trapped by the thought

Struck by the tongue

Who once was a friend

Speaking from the lungs

Stealing my oxygen

Trying to break free

Grip hold of death

Blood dripping you see

It’s started to heal

Though sliced into two

Numb, it has no feel

 Heartbeat, move

Red flowing from my eyes

Torture of this emotion

Tears of sadness fall

And yet my body stays in motion

Stilled by the words spoken

Paralyzed from head to toe

Gossip always kills a friend

My heart spills on this floor

Creative Reading

Hearing pains of torture

Piercing through my ear

My eyes bleed of letters

Forming words that I fear

Fighting to stay focused

Striving to learn something

My mind is distracted

By a whole lot of nothing

At the end of class

I’ve taught myself to fly

My imagination expands

So high, it takes me to the sky

And no I’m not delusional

And yes, there is no drug

My creativity foresaw my genius

So all I can do is shrug

As I walk out of class

My teacher tapped my shoulder

Asking what I've learned

So then I showed her

(blank paper)

All you spoke was useless information...

Thank you for giving me this detention

Maybe I'll take that time to actually learn

You useless government expenditure